


Becoming Herself

by SaraJaye



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Background Relationship Development, Character Development, Character Study, Communication Failure, Denial of Feelings, Earn Your Happy Ending, F/F, Family Feels, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Jealousy, Mommy Issues, Relationship Upgrade, The Future Past DLC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2019-03-06 14:09:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13412922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaraJaye/pseuds/SaraJaye
Summary: It had taken her almost all of her life to realize how wrong she'd been, but thanks to a little divine intervention, it's not too late to change.





	Becoming Herself

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Zen_monk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zen_monk/gifts).



She'd always sworn she'd never go near a pegasus as long as she lived.

Her mother was perfect. Nobody ever shut up about how perfect she was, always pushing Severa to do everything just like she had. _Fix your hair, you should wear it clipped back the way your mother does! Don't take such big bites, your mother has such lovely table manners! Talk more quietly, walk with smaller steps, why haven't you started training with a pegasus yet?_

Mother always stuck up for her, and after a while she forbade those people from talking to Severa at all. But the damage was done, and Severa refused to do anything the way Mother did it, right down to the weapon she chose.

Daddy was the kind of person she wanted to be more like anyway. He thought Mother was perfect, too, but he didn't make such a big deal about it and he also thought Severa was perfect. That was enough for her to like him better than most grownups, so much that she begged him to teach her the sword.

"When daughter is older," he always said, but that day never came. Mother went off to fight (for _Chrom_ ) and died the same day. A year later, Daddy died fighting Risen in Regna Ferox. Severa ended up training with Lucina and a few others under Khan Flavia until _her_ death when Severa was fourteen.

Training with Lucina had nothing to do with her mother's pathetic love for Chrom and everything to do with Lucina herself. They couldn't help who their parents had been, and even though she was the princess she never acted like she was better than everyone else.

And when she found herself completely in awe of Lucina, always wanting to be at her side, it was still nothing like Mother's obsession with Chrom. For one, Lucina always complimented Severa's skills without ever mentioning Mother.

"You work harder than anyone I know, Severa," she would say. "Flavia's influenced all of us, but I see a lot of her in your style." Flavia had been more Owain's family than anyone's, due to who _his_ father was, but Severa had admired her all the same. That was why she felt fuzzy every time Lucina said that, she'd tell herself. It certainly wasn't because the praise came from Lucina herself.

That was another thing. Severa did _not_ have any sort of feelings for Lucina beyond friendship and admiration. Who had time for that sort of thing when the world was crumbling and they were running out of time to end Grima? Being Lucina's second-in-command was an honor because Lucina trusted her that deeply, not because all Severa ever wanted to do was stay by her side.

Somehow, they managed to get their hands on all five gemstones just when things looked their worst. Because of _them,_ because of their parents suddenly appearing from another time and place where the world still stood and Grima hadn't had a chance to awaken.

Mother and Daddy rushed to her side immediately. Talking to Daddy was always easier; he apologized for breaking his promise, and she hugged him, telling him all about how she'd worked so hard to become like him.

Mother, though, hadn't changed a bit.

"You protected your princess like any pegasus knight would," she said, and that did it. _All those years she stood up for me, but she really agreed with those people!_ And now, she had the nerve to compare something so precious to Severa to her own pathetic obsession. Severa glared at her mother, clutching her sword's hilt until her knuckles ached.

"Why does it always have to be about _you?!_ Everyone always wanted me to be just like you, because you were _so_ perfect! Don't you realize _why_ I never wanted to go near a pegasus, or ride on yours?! Nobody ever asked me what _I_ wanted except Daddy!" she cried. She expected a gasp, a horrified look, but instead Mother's face turned pale and her eyes sad.

"Oh, sweetheart..." And then, a near-bonecrushing hug. "I'm sorry. Maybe the other Cordelia never realized how you felt, even in the end, but I do." And Severa remembered earlier, when she'd briefly seen another Severa charging into battle on a horse, a bow at her side.

"I always felt like you just wanted another Cordelia to mold in your image," she muttered, fighting back tears. "And then you went off to fight for _him_ and never came back..."

"I never wanted to keep you in my shadow," Mother said. "And I never wanted you to think for a minute that I'd leave you and your father for Chrom. I'm sorry you spent all those years thinking that."

The twin to the ring she wore around her neck still glinted on Mother's finger, gold and diamond both obviously polished daily. The way it had shone the day Mother left to fight, when she'd held tightly to Daddy just before she saddled her pegasus and flew out of sight and out of their lives. She hadn't even blinked at Severa's accusations, just told her to be a good girl and stay safe.

Even back then, Severa knew Mother loved Daddy more than anything. She hadn't even _mentioned_ Chrom's name that day, but Severa blamed him, because she knew Mother had once held feelings for him. Because she needed someone to blame for Mother leaving, because she hadn't wanted to accept that Mother had given her life to protect _her._

Daddy had given her the ring to wear for her own. _The day Gregor took your mother shopping for wedding ring was happiest day of their lives._

Mother's arms tightened around her, and Severa let out an embarrassing wail as the tears started falling.

"You _left me!_ " In the end, that was everything. Her mother, whom she'd loved and admired despite all her grievances, had gone off and _died_ and the last thing Severa had ever said wasn't even _true._

"I never wanted to hurt you," Mother murmured. "I just wanted to be a good mother." Something in Mother's tone struck a realization in Severa, uncomfortable but significant.

Her admiration for her parents mingled her stubborn need to do everything her own way, her insecurity every time someone reminded her she wasn't the paragon her mother was, her feelings for Lucina and how she compared them to Mother's for Chrom at every step.

_I've been doing just what I accused her of. It's always been about **me,** I never thought about how **she** felt._

"We'll fight together until it's time for you to leave," she finally said. "But you have to let go of me! This is a battlefield!" Mother let go with a smile.

"Then show me. I want to see what my little girl can do!"

Mother and the other visitors disappeared the moment they approached Grima. Moments later, Cynthia and Owain and the others arrived, Gemstones in hand, and before Severa knew it Grima was no more. In the heat of the moment, she hugged Lucina and they both cried.

Now, six months later, she walked towards the stables towards her pegasus. For weeks after that battle she'd sat and thought about her mother, about Lucina, about how she'd spent her entire life resenting and pushing back against the mother she loved more than anything out of sheer stubbornness.

_Neither of us ever thought about what the other wanted, did we? Would it really be such a bad thing to be like her, even a little?_

Cynthia made the decision for her in the end, begging her to help reform the Pegasus Knights of Ylisse to honor their mothers. The last stubborn part of her struggled to say no, but in the end, she let Cynthia introduce her to one of the remaining healthy pegasi.

The uniform felt strange, but Cynthia let her choose her own colors. A lance felt clumsy in her hand when she was so used to holding axes and swords, but she was getting better with it, little by little. Daddy would understand her changing her path, all he'd ever wanted was for her to be happy and safe.

And Lucina was smiling so proudly when Cynthia announced Severa as the newest member of the Pegasus Knights.

She was in love with Lucina. That she couldn't keep denying or hiding from, nor did she want to. Lucina was no more her father than Severa was her mother, they were their own people and that's how Mother and Chrom would have wanted it.

And she knew Lucina loved her, too. They'd been together since the morning after their victory, with little fanfare, and Severa couldn't remember a time when she'd been so happy.

"Severa!" She'd just left the stables, leading her mount with her, and there stood Lucina holding a few ribbons and a flower. Of course they didn't match Severa's uniform. So many things had changed since their victory, but Lucina's fashion sense wasn't one of them. Lucina helped her tie the ribbons around the pegasus's bridle, and tucked the flower into Severa's armor.

"This was aunt Sumia's favorite flower," she realized. A pink carnation, bright as pink could get. "Is that why you chose it?"

"Is that okay?" Lucina asked. "I thought maybe something close to your mother, but not exactly like her..."

Lucina always understood. She'd idolized her parents and had a nearly perfect relationship with them, but she understood.

Was it any wonder Severa loved her?

"It's perfect." Severa smiled, blinking back tears. "Lucina, thank you. For this...and for always believing in me."

"Thank _you,_ " Lucina said. "For staying by my side throughout everything."

_Thank you for being you._

She was more like her mother than she'd ever wanted to admit, but it didn't bother her anymore. Her friends and the girl she loved saw her for herself, and that was all Severa had ever needed.

"Ride with me?" she offered. Lucina nodded, kissing her softly before Severa mounted her pegasus and helped her on. Lucina's arms encircled her waist, her chin rested against Severa's shoulder, and they took to the air little by little.

The sky was the most beautiful shade of blue, and the wind was softer than Severa had ever remembered it being.


End file.
